So at least 10x this week I have been called a “boomer” by always the same type of guy. Under 30. Left-leaning. Looks like he couldn’t bench press an empty milk carton. I suppose I could continue the mockery of my ageist attackers, but I’ll try and take the (slightly) high(er) road and continue on.

A Baby Boomer is someone who was born from 1946 to 1964. My parents, for example, are baby boomers. I was born in 1981 (ancient!). I’m not only not a baby boomer, I’m not even a member of Generation X. In fact, according to many, I am even considered to be a bitch-ass millennial. Fucking lovely. Or as my guy Disgtuntled Hopeful will tell you, I am a member of the Oregon Trail generation.

So why do they call me a boomer? Some have said it is meant to describe a right-leaning, old fashioned mindset. I really don’t get that. I am right leaning, fiscally. But I am also in favour of LGBQT rights. Im anti- racism, sexism, and yes, even ageism. Which means that I, an evil “right-winger”, do not insult people based on their age (usually). I am not a devout member of the thought police. The PC cancel culture who expects everybody’s lives to be over the minute they say something wrong. I actually despise those nimrods. But because I’m not one of them, Im considered so far right that Im suddenly a “boomer”. This is the kind of mentality we deal with today. And it bleeds into hockey. More specifically, Hockey Twitter.

I can’t stand William Nylander. I truly can’t. And not for the reasons you may expect. Does he take shifts off? Sure. Everyone on the top 2 lines of the Leafs does these days. Has he been shooting horrible? Yes. Does he hide from physical contact like an informant hides from the mob? Again, yes. These things sometimes anger me. But the thing is, I could live with it. If he scored enough, we are good, bro. But no, the real reason I dislike William Nylander is that his biggest fans are an absolute pack of hyenas. A group of Hockey Twitter predators who attack and pile on anybody who dares utter a bad word about their golden boy. And guess who are the people uttering 99.9% of the boomer insults across Hockey Twitter. You guessed it! The Branch Nylandians cult. It is to the point that I sincerely want to trade him just to watch them meltdown. Today, Sportsnet 1050 host Mike Zigomanis learned the hard way that one does not speak ill about Nylander, lest ye face the wrath of his disciples.

Zigomanis, along with his two co-hosts Ashley Docking and Scotty Macarthur, discussed the potential of trading Nylander. They argued that his hefty price tag of 6.9 million (nice) per year was a luxury the Leafs could not afford, given where he fits in their depth chart. This was not an attack on Nylander, but rather just a regular talk radio discussion about a hockey team operating within the restraints of a hard-cap world. And, as usual, the vultures came out in full storm with the ever popular “Twitter Willy Ratio”.

These people usually have some things in common. Most have zero sports experience, other than reading graphs that other mathematically gifted people have made, then regurgitating them with such arrogance that Rick “The Model” Martel should sue for trademark infringement. They are often young, and think they are extremely “woke”. But it is ridiculously fake. You don’t get to pretend to be some sort of champion for a progressive movement, then attempt to use an ageist insult as you’re weapon of choice. You have to understand the hypocrisy, right? I mean, its right in front of your face like a yawning empty net. But I guess much like your poster boy, you’ll likely miss it too 🙂

It is just like people who hate Trump for the vile things he says, then call him an old, fat, orange piece of shit in the same breath. Don’t get me wrong, friends. I am all in favour of saying whatever we want to each other. I like the gloves off! Word restrictions are for children. But one thing I love even more is calling out the hypocrisy of the left-leaning Thought Police. For all the preachy shit you talk, you’re really just as full of shit as the rest of us.


Nicky Pizzaz

Follow me @Nickypizazz on Twitter

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